Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of make-believe. I have been since I was a little girl and my room was filled with porcelain unicorns and posters of rainbows; not to mention the entire collector's edition of The Wizard of Oz figurines. Okay so all that being said it is easy to understand why I enjoy sticking my nose in a fantasy book and spending time with my imagination in another world far different from my own. Now I know what all of you are thinking. Yes I have a family and of course I love and adore my life. I know I am very blessed and I thank the Lord each day for what I have. Sometimes though a women has to find her identity again.
Some women choose therapy shopping, others enjoy cooking, many of them go for a walk but for me I curl up with a great fictional book about romance and vampires. Yes vampires! Not the evil and demonic kind but the good and vegetarian kind. Okay so if you haven't guessed yet I am a twilight fan or twi-mom, twi-hard, whichever you prefer. I know that many men out there are wondering "what is it with women and this vampire crap?", right? Well you have come to a good source because my husband asked the same question to me just last night.
As a student who is majoring in psychology I am always trying to think of why we do the things we do. I know why I enjoy these types of books and here is my list.
1.) Love and romance
2.) Mystery
3.) Something to look forward to
4.) Escaping the land of diapers, and "come wipe my butt" shouts from down the hall
5.) It makes me happy
6.) Excitement
7.) When I read them I feel like I'm a part of the adventure
8.) Something that is my own and isn't based on me being a mother or wife
9.) I laugh and giggle out loud
10.) Its something for me and I enjoy it!
I think that everyone in general needs something that they enjoy that is their own. My husband provided a good example to this with some men and football or other sports. Or for example its hunting season right now and some women hardly even see their spouses or boyfriends during this time. The definition of a hobby is an activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for pleasure. There you have it all in a nutshell yet because reading about vampires doesn't seem normal we are constantly being questioned why. No one can say "well sports are a normal hobby but reading about vampires is weird", because it doesn't work that way. I'm pretty sure there are men out there whose hobby is porn but do we question how normal that is? Okay sorry that was the sarcastic person in me, bad analogy.
I simply know that for me personally I enjoy having something to do with my spare time if I even get any. I get a thrill waiting for the next book in a series to come out just like a dude gets excited about fight night. I love when they turn the book into a movie because it means I get to see a world I have been living in(through my head)come to life on the big screen. I'm not the woman who enjoys shopping for clothes and cooking isn't fun for me unless it involves baking some sort of dessert. Reading is my hobby and right now more specifically it is reading about vampires but I also read other things too.
Prior to having children I loved any Nicholas Sparks book and saw the movies and purchased the soundtracks as well. The difference from the old me to the present me is that back then I had many other activities going on so my reading didn't monopolize my time because I was always doing something. The me now is defined first as a wife, then as a mother and that is it. My days are spent doing chores, cooking, taking care of my little boys and working from home while going to school part-time. What else do I do or have that does not involve doing something for my husband or children? Well let me tell you it's not getting pampered and going for a manicure every two weeks like I use to pre-baby days. I can't look forward to dressing up nice and going out with my hubby either since we live hours away from the closest family member who can watch my children.
So to the men-who-hate-the-vampire-crap I propose that you be sweet to your ladies and deal with it, just like we deal with your fishing, hunting, football, and fight nights. Or there is that saying if you can't beat them join them! Who knows you might enjoy the vampire world too.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Junior High Blues
My youngest sister headed off to junior high this year, she's officially a seventh grader. I called her after her first day of school and we began discussing how her day went. She told me of her possible fav-teachers-to-be and that she got lucky in getting "A lunch" instead of B or C. All of this junior high talk started to take my mind down an awkward and miserable path that I hate to remember in the slightest bit.
Junior high was awful. We had moved that summer and I was forced to say adios to my old friends and enter into a brand new school with kids that had already formed their little clics from attending elementary together. I was on the outside looking in. I still remember with a vivid mental image how happy and excited all the other children looked to be in a "big" school were a teacher no longer escorted you from one class to the next. I on the other hand was not happy; I was crying and screaming on the inside. When my mom's car pulled up she said, "Okay have a good day, I love you!". I desperately asked her why she wasn't walking me in and she replied that I was too old for that and had to go on my own.
I'm laughing as I write this now but back then it felt like what a baby bird might feel if a mother bird were to kick her out of the nest and she had no skills in flying and was tumbling to the ground sure to face death. Once I made it inside it was apparent that I had no friends and had to stand against a wall by myself until the first bell rang. It continued on this same way every day for what seemed like an eternity, but were probably just a couple of weeks. Then one day in dreaded P.E. our coach wanted us to play basketball and picked two girls to pick their own team-mates at random. Yep, we've all witnessed this scene in movies and TV but until your actually living in it you really don't know the humiliation and horror.
So, here I was lined up against the cold brick wall while two pretty, popular girls went back and forth calling out everyone's name but mine. Thank goodness this is when the Lord decided to throw me a friend and her name was Vanessa. I will never forget it because we were the last two girls standing and waiting to be picked. We began to talk and laugh about how embarrassed we were and became friends quickly; after that junior high wasn't so unbearable.
My whole reason for writing this though was because now that I am an adult I'm wondering why the heck that coach suggested picking teams like that in the first place? She had to have known that at the age of 13 children aren't picking team-mates based on their skills in basketball. It was solely based on popularity and friends. The whole awful moment could have been easily avoided if the coach would have numbered us all 1 and 2 like they did in elementary and then we would have been separated evenly into two teams with no conflict. Did the coach want to see the loners suffer or was she thinking that this rejection process was something that all kids have to go through at some point? In my opinion it's as if there is a junior high staff meeting being held each year where the teachers discuss the different ways to "help" us kids get ready for high school.
Maybe I am being melodramatic but I had to put that thought out there. I am praying that my sons will not have to suffer as I did. Hopefully they'll get their Dad's good luck in school and have tons of great buddies...but just in case the process of rejection is still around I will be quick to remind them to help out the new kid and give them a spot on their team first.
Junior high was awful. We had moved that summer and I was forced to say adios to my old friends and enter into a brand new school with kids that had already formed their little clics from attending elementary together. I was on the outside looking in. I still remember with a vivid mental image how happy and excited all the other children looked to be in a "big" school were a teacher no longer escorted you from one class to the next. I on the other hand was not happy; I was crying and screaming on the inside. When my mom's car pulled up she said, "Okay have a good day, I love you!". I desperately asked her why she wasn't walking me in and she replied that I was too old for that and had to go on my own.
I'm laughing as I write this now but back then it felt like what a baby bird might feel if a mother bird were to kick her out of the nest and she had no skills in flying and was tumbling to the ground sure to face death. Once I made it inside it was apparent that I had no friends and had to stand against a wall by myself until the first bell rang. It continued on this same way every day for what seemed like an eternity, but were probably just a couple of weeks. Then one day in dreaded P.E. our coach wanted us to play basketball and picked two girls to pick their own team-mates at random. Yep, we've all witnessed this scene in movies and TV but until your actually living in it you really don't know the humiliation and horror.
So, here I was lined up against the cold brick wall while two pretty, popular girls went back and forth calling out everyone's name but mine. Thank goodness this is when the Lord decided to throw me a friend and her name was Vanessa. I will never forget it because we were the last two girls standing and waiting to be picked. We began to talk and laugh about how embarrassed we were and became friends quickly; after that junior high wasn't so unbearable.
My whole reason for writing this though was because now that I am an adult I'm wondering why the heck that coach suggested picking teams like that in the first place? She had to have known that at the age of 13 children aren't picking team-mates based on their skills in basketball. It was solely based on popularity and friends. The whole awful moment could have been easily avoided if the coach would have numbered us all 1 and 2 like they did in elementary and then we would have been separated evenly into two teams with no conflict. Did the coach want to see the loners suffer or was she thinking that this rejection process was something that all kids have to go through at some point? In my opinion it's as if there is a junior high staff meeting being held each year where the teachers discuss the different ways to "help" us kids get ready for high school.
Maybe I am being melodramatic but I had to put that thought out there. I am praying that my sons will not have to suffer as I did. Hopefully they'll get their Dad's good luck in school and have tons of great buddies...but just in case the process of rejection is still around I will be quick to remind them to help out the new kid and give them a spot on their team first.
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