To quote the Lost Boys in the movie Hook, "We wanna be like Peter Pan, we don't wanna grow up!!
I'm sitting here in bed wide awake and I just had a stare down with my clock hoping to somehow force it to stop at 11:59pm so that I could magically stay 29 forever. This has been a tough week mentally. The last couple of days I've been upset, nostalgic and somewhat of a crybaby. I've watched some childhood movies like Hook and Disney's The Little Mermaid...also the other 2 Little Mermaid movies which I never knew about or saw, don't judge me. Lol. I got on our computer and hunted down video clips of me with my babies when they were actually babies, and I also kinda looked like a baby. I've sat and thought about all my birthdays through the years and not any of them made me feel like I feel now. It's hard to describe. I know people say that your 30's are the best and that it's something to look forward to, but my 20's were pretty great and I don't know if the 30's can compete with that.
I didn't have the average, wild, early 20's like most people. There was no "away at college" life or hitting up clubs or getting tattoos or even much drinking for that matter. Nope, my 20's journey didn't involve those things and I'm really glad they didn't because this past decade of my life was spent starting up our little family and then watching it grow into a rather large family. So while most 20 somethingers were nursing bad hangovers or pulling all nighters studying or maybe even taking their early morning walk of shame, I was learning how to be a mom. When I look back at my 20's I can see myself falling in love with each of my baby boy's precious little faces as I hold them for the first time. I can see myself walking down a church aisle towards a handsome, angel of a man whom I didn't even feel like I deserved; this amazing person who is looking back at me like I'm the only person in the entire room. I tear up just picturing the memories, each one all so perfect.
No one ever told me that when you turned 30 your life would flash before your eyes...seriously though, that would have been helpful because I may have thought I was dying several times this week. So...am I depressed I'm turning 30? No. However, I am annoyed I'll be acquiring wrinkles and gray hair now, ugh. I'm not sad that I'm turning 30 because I know my next decade is going to bring some pretty awesome memories too. I truly do feel blessed. So here's to you my amazing, crazy busy, wonderful, lively 20's; thanks for the last 10 years!! So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye because I really need to be going to bed now...for real, it's not like I'm in my 20's anymore. ;)
